Funny pictures, memes, video's

[CudaMoparRay]

Trying to hide the obvious

[Brads70]

Truth!

[CudaMoparRay]

Dad had a non tech way of syncing us-----called a belt 

[CudaMoparRay]

That's it for anymore suggestions 

[303 Mopar]

Life's Demerit System

All men who have been married, and men in general, will attest to the wisdom in this post.
Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer. (-5)

PROTECTIVE DUTIES
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
Stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-20)
Tina has breast implants. (-40)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say to her, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You give any other response. (-40)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4,000)

[Topcat]

When you read Hulks quotes....Remember to sound like he talks what he's saying.


CLEARWATER, FLORIDA—Scandal rocked the pro wrestling world this week as Terry "Hulk" Hogan began feuding with popular genomics and biotechnology company 23andMe over results gathered from one of the company's genetic ancestry testing kits. The six-time WCW and WWF heavyweight champion, known for mega-flops like Suburban Commando and Santa with Muscles as well as his Gawker-bankrupting and childhood-debasing extramarital sextape with Heather Clem, took to Twitter to voice his displeasure after he received news from the company that forced him to question his most fundamental belief: that you, me and all of us are his "brothers."

I thought it would be a fun goof," said a baffled Hogan, who had received the test as a gift from his wife. "I figured, I dont need some tube to tell me I'm a Hulkamaniac just like all of the other little boys and girls in this world, dude, but it'd be fun anyway!" Hogan sent the test in and went on with his life—saying prayers, eating vitamins and galavanting with his longtime manager Jimmy Hart.

Everything seemed fine for the Hulkster—until the results came back. "86% European descent," the wrestler said, "What the fuck does that even mean?" Even worse, the results didn't appear to have any metric included for measuring brotherhood or Hulkamania in the first place, but did indicate the 65-year-old wrestler was at an increased risk for Parkinson's disease.

"Apparently these stooges want a visit from the Hulkster's 24-inch pythons," Hogan said before tearing his shirt off in anger. "For decades I've said that my fans, my colleagues and my children were all my brothers. Now this website is telling me I'm zero percent Hulka-anything? I don't think so, bruh...br...bruth..." he said before trailing off, donning another shirt and sadly tearing it off.

As of press time, an inconsolable Hogan was blubbering his way through a list of inherited traits such as "Silly Jellyfish Tentacle Hairline" and an increased risk for "Crispy Chicken Skin" on his forearms, in addition to a diagnosis of something called "Bigot's Brow."

I miss all that Silly shit in the late 70's

[CudaMoparRay]

Unfortunately works better than throwing it in the trash

[CudaMoparRay]

Even our house has an opinion 

[Brads70]

 I can't hear you?

[71-440]

[71-440]

[Brads70]

 

[CudaMoparRay]

Dog owners may disagree 

[71-440]

[Topcat]

35 plus years later...