JOKES

[Timbbuc2]

 

[71GranCoupe]

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl. They are box seats plus airfares and hotel accommodations. He didn't realize when he bought them that this is the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church in New York City at 5 PM. Her name is Donna. She will be the one in the white dress.

[Roadman]

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl. They are box seats plus airfares and hotel accommodations. He didn't realize when he bought them that this is the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church in New York City at 5 PM. Her name is Donna. She will be the one in the white dress.

                                             

[Chryco Psycho]

Awesome , Thanks 

[Cudakiller70]

A Texas farmer was touring England. He happened to meet an English farmer and asked him, "What size farm do you have?"

The Englishman proudly announced, "Thirty-five acres!"

"Thirty-five acres?" the Texan scoffed. "Why, I can get in my truck at 8:00 AM and start driving and at noon, I am still on my farm. I can eat lunch and start driving again and at 5:00 PM I am still on my farm.

"Ah, yes," the Englishman nodded in understanding. "I had a truck like that once, it was a Ford ....."

[Roadman]

        

[Cudakiller70]

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart.
If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years, unless you give them your email address.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.
What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

[Roadman]

[Cudakiller70]

Need a little help

[Roadman]

[71GranCoupe]

.

[Brads70]

HA HA that was good! I had to steal that one and posted it on facebook. I read it to my wife, she was trying not to smile, and said " I'm swishing my tea" 

[Roadman]

Breakfast, best meal of the day. 

[Roadman]

           

[blown motor]

So this Irishman walks out of a bar. No, really...it could happen.