JOKES

[Roadman]

   How many of you can relate to this ? 

[Roadman]

How true.

[Roadman]

                          Yep

[Roadman]

And This is the Truth.     

[71GranCoupe]

The Blonde On The Airplane

She gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat. The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets. She looks at the blonde woman's ticket and tells the blonde, "Ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class. please move to the back of the plane."
The blonde replies "I'm a blonde, I'm smart, and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica."
So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the blonde's response, goes to another flight attendant and tells him what happened.  He goes up to her and asks her to move to the back of the plane.
She then responds "I'm a blonde, I'm smart, and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica".
So the two flight attendants are steaming mad and they go to the co-pilot and tell him what is going on. He comes back to where the blonde is sitting and leans over and whispers something in her ear.
The two flight attendants were astonished when the blonde abruptly got up from her seat and moved to the back of the plane. They looked at each other, and then the co-pilot, and asked him what he told her.
The co-pilot, feeling good about himself told them, "Oh, this happened a while back with someone else. I just simply told the woman that the front half of the plane wasn't going to Jamaica."

[Roadman]

                           

[Roadman]

 

[Roadman]

 

[Cudakiller70]

An airline pilot wrote that on one particular flight he landed really hard. The airline had a policy after each flight they were required to have the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline". He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.



Finally everyone had got off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

[Roadman]

 

[Timbbuc2]

 Question:What does a Divorce and Tornado have in common in Alabama????
Answer:At the end of the day someone is going to loose a house trailer

[Chryco Psycho]

http://kalecoauto.com/
this should kill an hour or so 

[71GranCoupe]

They DO have blinker fluid. 

http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=popup_image&pID=22&zenid=DtXe,nectDLuMxH1ScGQY2

[Rev-It-Up]

http://kalecoauto.com/
this should kill an hour or so 

I think their flux capacitor is a little over priced! 

[Topcat]

At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked for her cell number so I could call her.
She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, "Sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonight".
I replied, "Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!"
A guy next to me overheard, tapped on my shoulder and said, "What she really said was: 666136429."